I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
as a side note pls kill me
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
