What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
