pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
