she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
