The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
