can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
