so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
