i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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