Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
