I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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