Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
