she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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