you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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