I'm so fucking centered right now
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
