do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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