3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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