Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
