Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
