ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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