he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
