dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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