Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
