yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
