Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize