i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
