Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
