the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
