can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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