I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Randomize
