I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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