I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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