Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
where are you?
Hypothermia
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
