It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
