a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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