Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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