I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
