I think I died a long time ago.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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