is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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