Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
