I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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