Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize