haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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