why didn't you poke me back
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
