Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
