A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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