Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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