everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
