trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
