That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
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I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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