I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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