Nicole vs. Life
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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