sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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