you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
