If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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