Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
two words...techno handjob
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
you're hired as official boob wrangler
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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