If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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